cAt aNd mOuSe (4 BFF ChoG)

have you ever tried asking this question
to yourself?: am i being so bad that
one person cant understand what i am
trying to tell him? or is it really hard
to cope with all of my strangeness??

the reason why im asking this, is because of
my bestfriend Paolo.. We always fight about
petty things.. Like earlier, (im not gonna go into
details..) i was really furious of what his
friend did.. i was just trying to give him my
point, but he didnt want to listen..

he always feel like im belittling him or
im being rude.. i dont think iam.. i was
just trying to explain to him about what iam
feeling about the situation..

well, he must understand where im coming from..
coz we've through this before..
in fact, we didnt communicate for 3 months
because of a little thing, i was trying to explain myself
to him that time, but he refused to give me a chance..
and this is exactly the same thing that i want to avoid
this time.. it's really hard when that happened again,
because he's my only confidante, the one that i can tell
and entrust everything to and i dont want to lose him..
but earlier, we almost
end up to that same situation again..

Actually, up to this very moment that im writing this
post, i still hate him, but i just dont want to let
it get into me while im here at the office taking calls,
coz i might end up crying... and i dont want people
to have pity on me.. that's gonna be horrible!!

before going to the office, i texted him and
told him that i need to get all my things and this will
be the last time that i would want to see his face..
i was pretty serious about that actually...
well, honestly, i was just waiting for him to say sorry,
but he never did... SORRY is all i need, then
we're quits and everything's good again..
but there was nothing...

i was preparing my "TALAKATHON" speech while
im in the jeepney going to our meeting place, and
i was trying to remember all the rebuttals im gonna
tell him, especially to those text messages he sent me
like this one: "lahat sayo big deal talaga! brat!"
(you make everything such a big deal! brat!) AND "bakit
hindi ba kita sinusunod, kahit nga hindi nako pumasok
(sa school) masamahan ka lang" (did i not do what you say?
i even missed school just to be with you!).. but the
moment i saw him entering the door of that food chain,
i told myself.. "no im not gonna do anything stupid
and im not going to let those things happened again"
so when he approach me i said (in avery casual manner
like nothing happened) "Oi pinagtripan lang kita,
sorry, uwi ka na, male-late na ko!(then i handed
him his favorite fish fillet lauriat from Chowking that
i bought for him as a peace offering)..

we're like cat and mouse, we hate each other often times
but still i can never imagine the thought of losing him again..

i think he would never get things that i want him to
understand, but there's nothing i can do.. i guess i just
have to live with it, because i know ill never have
a bestfriend like him again..ever.. (Huhuhu!!! tears galore!!)

hope he'll realize it..
thats my only prayer...

SORRY CHOG!! Hang in there..Please.