i did it again...

i got you once...







then i got you twice......










S O R R Y CHOG!!
Just dont get drunk next time....
hehehe!!!!!!!!!

cAt aNd mOuSe (4 BFF ChoG)

have you ever tried asking this question
to yourself?: am i being so bad that
one person cant understand what i am
trying to tell him? or is it really hard
to cope with all of my strangeness??

the reason why im asking this, is because of
my bestfriend Paolo.. We always fight about
petty things.. Like earlier, (im not gonna go into
details..) i was really furious of what his
friend did.. i was just trying to give him my
point, but he didnt want to listen..

he always feel like im belittling him or
im being rude.. i dont think iam.. i was
just trying to explain to him about what iam
feeling about the situation..

well, he must understand where im coming from..
coz we've through this before..
in fact, we didnt communicate for 3 months
because of a little thing, i was trying to explain myself
to him that time, but he refused to give me a chance..
and this is exactly the same thing that i want to avoid
this time.. it's really hard when that happened again,
because he's my only confidante, the one that i can tell
and entrust everything to and i dont want to lose him..
but earlier, we almost
end up to that same situation again..

Actually, up to this very moment that im writing this
post, i still hate him, but i just dont want to let
it get into me while im here at the office taking calls,
coz i might end up crying... and i dont want people
to have pity on me.. that's gonna be horrible!!

before going to the office, i texted him and
told him that i need to get all my things and this will
be the last time that i would want to see his face..
i was pretty serious about that actually...
well, honestly, i was just waiting for him to say sorry,
but he never did... SORRY is all i need, then
we're quits and everything's good again..
but there was nothing...

i was preparing my "TALAKATHON" speech while
im in the jeepney going to our meeting place, and
i was trying to remember all the rebuttals im gonna
tell him, especially to those text messages he sent me
like this one: "lahat sayo big deal talaga! brat!"
(you make everything such a big deal! brat!) AND "bakit
hindi ba kita sinusunod, kahit nga hindi nako pumasok
(sa school) masamahan ka lang" (did i not do what you say?
i even missed school just to be with you!).. but the
moment i saw him entering the door of that food chain,
i told myself.. "no im not gonna do anything stupid
and im not going to let those things happened again"
so when he approach me i said (in avery casual manner
like nothing happened) "Oi pinagtripan lang kita,
sorry, uwi ka na, male-late na ko!(then i handed
him his favorite fish fillet lauriat from Chowking that
i bought for him as a peace offering)..

we're like cat and mouse, we hate each other often times
but still i can never imagine the thought of losing him again..

i think he would never get things that i want him to
understand, but there's nothing i can do.. i guess i just
have to live with it, because i know ill never have
a bestfriend like him again..ever.. (Huhuhu!!! tears galore!!)

hope he'll realize it..
thats my only prayer...

SORRY CHOG!! Hang in there..Please.

mY tWiLiGht eXpeRienCe

ive been wanting to see this movie, since the
the first time i have heard of it.. i was able
to read the book, w/c i borrowed from a fuck
buddy (Aeds), i enjoyed reading it, but it
was really different seeing it on the big screen.

I watched it with my bestfriend Paolo,
i was sleepy before going to G4 to watch
it coz i came from my night shift, then i
had breakfast with my officemates in SeaSide
in Pasay, before going back to Makati to see this
movie..so im kinda exhausted and tired
but im telling you, its all worth it, i was
energized and pumped-up after seeing it.




I especially love the baseball scene..
and i really fell in love with the lead guy,
though he's not that cute.. but still if he's a real
vampire, ill be willing to lend him my neck
and suck all the blood i have till the last drop,
hehehe!!!

im not really a big fan of vampire movies,
in fact, ive never seen one.., but this one
is cool, ill definitely wait for the sequel..
hope it'll be soon....

i love twilight,.. hope ill meet
my Mr. Vampire too.... Soon!!! hahaha!!

my morbid dream

i am so scared... i woke up catching my breath
from a deep sleep..

it all started this way.. i went home from
the office at about 10am (coming from 11pm-8am shift)
i was so tired and exhausted so i immediately took
off my clothes and headed to the shower room.
After i took a bath, i recieved a phone call from
a gay friend asking me to go out with them (my college
friends) coz its been years since weve been out for a drink,
while i was talking to this friend, i know that i want to end
up the conversation because my eyes are literally closing
in and my bed is calling me to lay my fresh-from-the-shower
body to him, luckily my friend felt like im tired and need some
sleep so after i turn my phone off, i lie on my bed and
fastly fell asleep..

then the morbid dream came.. in that dream i woke up in
a very dark room... i cant figure out anything because im
seeing nothing but i know that im not alone in that room..
well in reality, im really afraid of the dark, but in this
dream, i do not feel any fear at all, in fact i stood up
and searched the place though i know ill find nothing (coz again in
reality if this happened to me, ill just stay where i am and
wait till i die).. While trying to grasp for something
in that dark room, i accidentally stumble into something
(again, i cant figure it out because its freakin' dark)..

i continued walking through the darkness, i suddenly smell
a fume i cant imagine, it was really bad.. in fact, to this
moment that im typing this post i can still imagine how in my dream,
that smell made me want to throw up. But i followed the path
where that shit comin' from.. it led me to a sort of a tunnel
but this time a little ray of light was shining in..
So i entered that opening, and what frightened me was seeing
my dead step sister hanging from the ceiling of that tunnel..

My step sister died last June, she also committed suicide
by hanging herself to the ceiling of my dad's house in Antipolo,
that's where it came to my mind that maybe, this is my sister's way
of reaching out to me, Actually, we never got close (well, i have never
been to any of my step siblings). I remember, that before that
faithful day, she was texting me, asking if i have time to
talk to her, but i wasnt able to reply, because i was at the
office, and phone is prohibited within the production area,
though i was able to read it after my shift at 6am, but it was
followed by a call from my dad saying, they found her dead in
her room, i was petrified and i just dont know what to say.

My dad said that she's been dead for quite a few hours when they
found her, he was the first one to see her, he said that when he saw her
there were red ants all over her face, biting her, and thats exactly
what i saw in my dream,, her in a white dress, with rope in her neck and
the red ants.. but one thing's different from what my dad told me in that
call, he said that even if my sis committed suicide, he finally saw
her full of peace and contentment that he hasnt seen her in months (by the
way my sis was raped by her friend, she actually wrote it in that suicide
note they found in her bed, and thats exactly what bothered her and pushed
her into doing that) but i saw a face full of sorrow and agony, i think she
really struggled to live for several months having to carry that huge
cross in her shoulder.

Going back to my dream, i realize that this was probably how she wants
to reach out to me, because before she died, we never got the time to talk.
I do have regrets about that actually, if only i was able to reply to
that text message she sent, things could've happened differently, maybe
ill be able to give her advice about what she's going through, but i
guess thats fate... No one can get in between that.. but still, i feel so
sorry for the lost times...how i wish now, that i have the effort to get
close to her though i know there's some issues within our family, but now it
is too late..

I can compare what im feeling now to a song that goes.. if only i have known,
it'll be our last to dance in the rain, i could've waited for the storm..

To all the angels above... Please tell my Ate (Sister)
that i love her and she'll be remembered... always.

the man who cant be moved

going back to the corner
where i first saw you
gonna camp in my sleeping bag
im not gonna move
got some words on cardboard
got your picture in my hand
sayin' if you see this guy
can you tell him where i am
some try to hand me money
but they dont understand
im not broke..
im just a broken-hearted man
i know it makes no sense
what else can i do
how can i move on?
when im still in love with you..

coz if one day you'll wake up
and find that youre missin' me
and your heart starts to wonder
where in this earth i can be
thinking maybe youll come back
into the place that we'd meet
then youll see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
coz im not movin'
im not movin'

policeman says "son you cant stay here"
im sayin "there's someone im waiting for
if its a day, a month, a year
gotta stand my ground even if it
rained or snow..
if he changes his mind..
this is the first place she would go

people talk about the guy
who's waiting on a man
there are no holes in his shoes
but a big hole in his world..
and maybe ill get famous as
the man who cant be moved
and maybe you wont mean to
but you see me on the news
and you come runnin' to the corner
coz you know it just no use
im the man who cant be moved..


FOR HIM: this is exactly what
im goin' to do.. if ever ill
lose you..
I WONT MOVE!!!!!

dRunKen MasTer

My bestfriend Paolo and I went out two saturdays ago..
we went to some bars in Alabang... but before that we had an argument
about some petty things that lead us to decide to talk and went out for a couple of drinks..well, anyways, to make the long story short,. we still argue (a bit) while we
were drinking.. until he got kinda tipsy and drunk.. what's funny was that he
fell asleep on our table, i was trying to wake him up for like 30 long minutes from the time he slept but nothing happend.. i got bored, so i decide to take a picture of him (unbeknownst to him,of course..till this very moment) coz i know he'll be furious (he doesnt want his pix to be taken, when he's drunk).. but there's nothing he can do.. this is my blogsite.. i can do anything i want... wahahahahaha!!!(sorry Chog)

nFF's

here are my nFF's... from JP MOrgan Chase where i currently work..
well as usual our past time after a long day (or should i say night) at
the office.. is of course... Sunrise beer.. whatelse... its just so sad
that two of my wavemates have to leave for some unfortunate reason but its
all good.. KUDOS to us guys!! We'll make it to Prime (im sure!!).. hehehe!!

cArNaL cOnNoiSseUrS

what a wonderful weekend i had... i have spent it
in my BFWB's (bestfriend with benefits) place..
we first hang-out in his favorite coffee shop (seattle's best) which im
not a big fan of (im a starbucks baby heheh!!)..
During those times that we're just lazily warming our ass off the couch of
Seattle's..i got really naughty and whispered in his ears,if he is willing to do it
in the shop's comfort room, since we havent done it in any
other place aside from each other's bedroom or his kitchen counter top.
but he was kind of hesitant about it...
So, we finally decided to go home instead (after i was able to put all that
carnal thoughts in his mind) and the moment we stepped out of his car,
we we're so freakin' horny that we started touching
each other all over.. until we reached his room's door,
when i suddenly realized that he's already naked, i was able to strip everything
that he was wearing (that's how fast iam, i guess).. we made love for hours,
i felt like we we're both carnal connoisseurs, it seems like i own the world,
because of how satisfied and pleasured iam about what we did, i can say that this was
actually the first time where i felt like we we're doing it like the first time..
we have been in this kind of arrangement for quite sometime now,but that was by far the best sex (or love-making, whatever you wanna call it!) we ever had...
this is just something i want to share... weekends can sometimes be awful for some,
but from this day on ill make sure mine would be lustful.. hahaha..
cant wait for friday.. wheewhhh!!!

boring...

haaayy... that's all i can say about this day... im sitting here in my pod at the office waiting for calls, i dont know, but i feel so bored today, its the end of the week, i should be all pumped-up and ready to party.. but i dont know what's with me.. well, come to think of it, it was a really bad week(well not really that bad but...) or should i say... kinda sad week for me, because of a number of reasons... first... two of my friends left for Singapore for greener pasteur, actually that's totally fine with me because it'll do great things for their future, but.. the sad part is.. we actually planned that together, but for some certain mishaps, i wasnt able to go with them, maybe Singapore was just not for me.. hope there's a better opportunity someday.. secondly.. a new found friend from the office got terminated , it was really sad because we were just beginning to be close then all of a sudden he is gone,.. again, looking to the bright side of things, im thinking maybe this job was not meant for him... With all of those things that happened this week, i have learned to realize something.. nothing is permanent.. it is such a cliche, but again it is true.. some things are not meant to last.. people and things may come and go.. one minute youre happy, the next thing youre blue... but still with all of these unpredictable happenings i'd say.. resiliency is the best policy (hehehe).. learn to move on on but DO NOT move away.. coz there might be better things that will come our way.. as the saying goes.. the tunnel has a brighter light on the other side.. its a good life after all... im going to enjoy this weekend.

pers taym

my first blog.... hahaha... i was really hesitant to sign up to this site, coz im not really a big fan, and at the same time i hate writing things about my daily life or basically anything about my life, coz i think it is too boring, but here i am sitting in front of my computer typing stuff.. hahaha.. most of my friends are actually doing these blog thing (well not really most of them, but i just realize, all of them are bloggers)... forgive me (2 those who's reading this), this is just my first time to write a blog and i dont know what to do... i dont know about you guys but to me writing this blog was just like my first time having sex.. i was sloppy, not knowing exactly how big do i have to extend the opening of my mouth just to suck that big, chunky piece of human flesh.. but afterwards you'll realize that what you did was something great and unforgettable and you know that you would to do it again ad again next time you get the chance.. and i think from this day forward im'na do it for the rest of my life.