missive

my dearest you,

i remember the time when i first met you, you were wearing that pink shirt, you look good, a look of innocence that paints a picture of a guy that i want to fall in love with. We said "hello" casually at each other. The moment we talked i said to myself that i want you to be mine and love you for the rest of my life.

after that first meeting, you became my constant text-marathon partner. we talked of most anything day, noon, and night. time passed by so quickly i didnt notice that you became the closest friend i ever had. we shared moments of good laughter and bitter tears. i remember one time when you texted me and said " can i come to your place?" i didnt know that you are hiding a big problem, you began to confide o me, you cried like a kid, i cried with you, it was a long good cry that we fell asleep and forget it for a while.

there are lots of time that we shared funny moments together, like this one time when you helped me look for place that i could rent, i slipped into the mud and we both laugh our ass out, though it was embarrassing that other people saw me that time but i do not give a damn because im with you, i feel safe with you, you know. whenever you are by my side i feel like there's no one could harm me and you would shelter me from the coming danger.

you became my best-est friend, i ran to you many times when im afraid and need comfort. just a simple "that's okay" and a reassuring hug makes everything alright again. you are everything i dreamed of, you gave back to me everything that i have lost. you are like the bicycle i never had, but now im riding along in the highway of life.

i have loved you more than anything in this world, im wiling to give up everything for you, i respected your decisions, and listened carefully to your suggestions. your youth makes me feel like a kid again, your carelessness makes me wanna do anything i want without a care in the world.

i thought everything was fine and dandy between us, but as they say, nothing in this world is perfect, everything could fall apart. we fought, we argued, we hurt each other many times. but i never hated you, i cannot hate you, and i wil never ever hate you.

from the moment you were wearing that pink shirt, until that moment that we met to say our goodbyes, now you're wearing a gray shirt. A color that i hate because its sad and boring... all those moments will forever be glued to my mind, my heart, and soul.

that moment of gray shirt and two bottles of beer on the table, i looked into your eyes, it says "im tired, im giving up, i cant do this anymore, you have to let me go now". deep inside im saying i love you and will always love you til my dying day. i know you cant hold on anymore, even if i try my very best to keep you from slipping away.

now im letting you go, you're on your own now, while im here stuck in a moment, just like a kid learning to ride his bicycle but no one's there to guide him along the way. but i thank you, because i have learned so much from you, i will always carry that sweet smile in my heart, i love you, even if it hurts, i want to say i love you...

to you... who will forever be my bestfriend forever, my dear love, my favorite mistake, and my Botchog... goodbye... it is so hard, but i have yo say it now.... coz if saying it will make you forever happy, then i will be glad to repeat it over and over again.

thank you and again always and forever i love you....


until then,

brown butiki